Note: here are some of my thoughts, I have the dates down because that’s when I wrote them. they’re short entries, so I didn’t really elaborate or anything. As I continue to jot down my thoughts, I will edit them and add them to this post. 

05/22/2018

Sometimes, we let certain things bother us to the point where we lose it. It can be the smallest thing and we let it get in our heads. We let it strangle us, taking the oxygen away from us. Unable to breath, feeling so numb and allowing this thing become the disease that spreads in our mind. Our mind is consumed by this one thing. We become desperate. So desperate that it is hard for us to stop thinking about it. The thoughts alone cannot be left alone, no matter how hard you try.

Sometimes, we don’t want to talk about the beauty and ugliness of friendships. People say, “the ups and downs.” See, the beauty of friendships is that you can love. You can be yourself, and be rest assured that you have someone or people next to you. Yet, there is such an ugliness that we tend to ignore. The abuse, the constant needing and being taken advantage of. You do not realize it until it grips your arms tightly. To be continued…

05/24/2018

How do I make sense of the world? How does one make sense of their surroundings? What is it about this world, that makes us humans fall in love with it? Actually, I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I want to talk about love. Have you ever loved so much that you end up forgetting what it feels like to love yourself? I have a serious question: can you love others before yourself? I think I can answer that question because I have loved before even loving myself. I would say that I struggle to love myself at this point. I am so worried about loving others, caring for others, that I am forgetting myself. I wonder what it would be like if I fully loved myself. Would I be considered a narcissist?