Unpredictable.

I have disappeared. But wait, you have to understand why it has been a while. Your girl had to finish up her degree! Two weeks ago, I graduated with my Bachelors of Arts degree in Psychological and Social Sciences. There was a lot going on in the past 6 months. My main focus last semester were my internship and thesis. I had never been so stressed out, but I made it. When I tell you how proud I am of myself, you probably would not believe me. This blog post is not me trying to brag about all the things I have accomplished in my college career. No. I have been on a long journey for the past four years.

I loved every bit of my college experience. The good and the bad. I loved the only two friends I had my first year in college. I loved that I found my passion in service my second year. I loved that I lost a few friends my junior year. I loved that I had my first love my junior year. I loved that I knew the woman I wanted to become my senior year. With every challenge that came my way, I embraced them. I mean, yes, it was hard at first, but eventually I embraced them. I will never forget the days I kneeled on my bedroom floor begging God to help me. With each tear that came, I kept going. With each downfall, I kept going. It took me years to find my support system. But, one of the main things I will always remember is how much I have grown from my college experience.

And, two weeks ago I received my degree. I had plans of course. Don’t we all? I started looking into jobs for now because I have bigger plans. Yet, I forgot that God’s plan was bigger than mine. I enjoyed my first week as a college graduate and it was the first week of Ramadan. I hung out with my friends and met new people along the way. I realized how unpredictable life was, but that was only because I was watching something about someone’s cause. Someone having to change their life drastically because of how unpredictable life was. I didn’t think the next day, I would be the one with a cause.

You’re probably thinking, “what is she referring to?”

Sunday. On Sunday, I became feverish. Honestly did not know I had a fever. Being the person that I am, I really thought I had caffeine withdrawal. Although it did not make sense. I had the symptoms of a withdrawal, yet I was fine four days without having coffee. A friend of mine told me that I may have had a fever, but as stubborn as I am I did not listen. My head pounded like it never did before. My body was weak as dying a flower. I was cleaning the house, but as I cleaned, I took multiple breaks. I was also fasting at the time, so I thought it was maybe because I was fasting. Throughout that all I did was fall in and out of sleep. When it was time to break fast, I resisted the urge to drink coffee to make me feel better. But, my mom told me to drink a little. So I did. My “caffeine withdrawal” was still not gone. I went to sleep and skipped Suhoor, but still woke up to pray Fajr.

Monday. On Monday morning, I had an interview for a job. I had to prepare for it. When I woke up though, my body failed me. Even after taking a shower, as I sat on my bed, I slept. My mom woke me up asking me if I felt better. She recommended I go to the hospital, but again, as stubborn as I am, I said no. I knew I would not win this fight with my body. I couldn’t. As I sat on my bed, my head feeling like someone threw a brick at it 1000 times, my stomach feeling like someone has stabbed it 2000 times, I lost the fight. I called my brother and asked if he could drive me to the hospital. When I arrived, I told them my symptoms. With tears falling down easily, the nurse looked at me with sympathy. I kind of hated it. They took inside of the ER and I stayed there.

Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. All of these days became a blur for me. Constantly laying on the small white hospital bed. Both of my arms with IVs. Unable to eat any foods. Wondering when I would be able to go home. The nurses coming in and out. My doctor and her med students coming in and out. My mom constantly taking care of me.

I had been in the hospitable for five days. There’s more to the story, but I’d rather not bother you with the details. It was a miserable experience. Some days were good, others were bad. Do not worry, I am good now. But why am I sharing this with you? To tell you that life is unpredictable. But you may have known this already. No matter what plans you have, life is unpredictable. I wasn’t the healthiest person in terms of going to the gym, and eating healthy. However, I think I was in an okay shape. And this happened during the month of Ramadan. I am actually grateful that this did happen. When I was younger I would always ask God, “why me?” But this time, I did not ask God that. I asked God to take good care of me, and that his plans were indeed bigger than mine.


Authors Note: I want to thank those who were there for me through this journey and those who thought of me.

Written by Diaka Thiam

Thank you for reading! (:

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